


How Lucky I Am To Have Something That Makes Saying Goodbye So Hard

by WaxRhapsodic



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Goodbyes, M/M, True Love, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 00:12:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5353550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WaxRhapsodic/pseuds/WaxRhapsodic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’d want to remember Merlin like this, framed in the doorway of their home, wind in his hair, eyes as blue as the sky. He’d leave the tears out of the memory when he pulled it out to wonder over in the dark times that were sure to come. Or maybe he’d change them. Make them tears of joy, of homecoming, of reunion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Lucky I Am To Have Something That Makes Saying Goodbye So Hard

**Author's Note:**

> This is a not for profit fan work I do not own any of the properties or characters mentioned within.

Merlin stood in at the door watching, waiting and even without looking back Arthur knew he’d watch until he was out of sight.

He made it as far as the bend in the road before turning back to take one last look at his husband, in case it was his last. In case he never made it home from this.

He’d want to remember Merlin like this, framed in the doorway of their home, wind in his hair, eyes as blue as the sky. He’d leave the tears out of the memory when he pulled it out to wonder over in the dark times that were sure to come. Or maybe he’d change them. Make them tears of joy, of homecoming, of reunion.

“You’re off to see the world, like you always wanted,” Merlin had smiled, teary eyed the day Arthur’s draft papers arrived in the mail.

“Not at all like I’ve always wanted, darling, but I love your optimism,” Arthur had teased, hoping to make the other man laugh.

“When you get back we’ll do it right,” Merlin said somberly.

Arthur pulled his husband into a tight embrace, “when I get back I’ll take you to see the lights, babe,” he murmured into his hair.

“I’ll hold you to it,” Merlin burrowed against his chest with a deep sigh.

Arthur knew he would. He knew he was the lucky one, though Merlin didn’t see it that way. He couldn’t have borne waiting at home for news while Merlin went off to kill or die. 

Merlin would have taken his place in an instant-less than, would have signed up with him in solidarity if not for the illness that had razed his immune system as a child, leaving him deaf in one ear and with a weak chest.

No, he didn’t envy Merlin, though perhaps he would in the coming months and years. Home safe, with Arthur out there keeping it that way. 

He smiled at the thought he certainly had something to fight for, someone to protect, a home to return to. A promise to keep.

He came back to himself, standing in the sun, shielding his eyes with on hand, clutching his carefully packed bag with the other.

Then he dropped it and ran. 

Merlin, always watching, ever waiting met him at the foot of the stairs, knowing better than to run in the dust and heat of the day.

Arthur caught him around his slim waist and spun him up into his arms.

“Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would, I'd never leave,” he managed to gasp out around the pressure of tears building in his throat.

Merlin huffed a choked laugh at the quote, more like a sob, but Arthur wouldn’t focus on that now. Instead he luxuriated in the feel of his beloved in his arms. The weight of him the scent of him, all the world caught in his embrace. All of it that mattered at any rate.

“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart. I'll stay there forever,” Merlin responded on cue, pulling back slightly to press heated, almost feverish kisses to his mouth, his cheeks his eyelids.

And so they remained until they heard the bus chugging up the lane and Arthur truly had to go, had to run back to his pack and onto the bus and out of sight.

Gone for now, not forever.

**Author's Note:**

> The title and the love quotes they say to each other are A.A Milne. I adore him. Thank you for reading! Please comment let me know what you think!! I tried to write a drabble lol maybe one day I'll get down to 100 words or less!


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